3 Questions I Asked After Divorce to Stop Living My Parents' Fear, And Moved to Southeast Asia Alone at 40
by Clover Lam
When I told my Dad that I was quitting my 20-year flight attendant job and moving to Southeast Asia alone, his immediate response was: “You can’t go there. It’s dangerous.”
His concern stemmed from a single story, a Chinese influencer who got kidnapped in Thailand.
What he didn’t see was the life I’ve already lived after divorce.
I had gotten sick before in Bali and Thailand, and navigated their medical system.
I got scammed in China and Vietnam, and stopped trusting deals that look too good to be true.
I walked alone on the streets in Egypt, South Africa and Vancouver’s Hasting Street, and learned to changed my entire aura for self protection.
I have gotten catcalled in the US and Canada. Because let’s be real, “danger” is not exclusive to “foreign”lands.
My 20-year travelling career didn’t just give me passport stamps and instagram photos, it gave me life skills, discernment and awareness. And the most important skill of all, self-trust.
Our parents come from the best of intentions, but what I have realized is this:
Other people’s advice is often the projection of how they perceive the world through their own lived experience.
Therefore, to discern if their advice applies to you, you can ask yourself these 3 questions:
Is their advice coming from lived experience or projection of their own fear/anxiety?
Is their suggestion based on their life values or yours?
Do you have the capabilities to take responsibility for your actions?
Once you parse through the noise and get clear with who you are, self trust becomes easier.
I understand self-trust takes time to build. It can also feel scary to take that leap of faith in doing something that others might not understand.
That’s why I created the Divorce Glow Up Sisterhood, so you can walk along side other women on this journey of reclaiming who we are.
Join HERE if you want to practice this skill and be inspired by what’s possible!
